The Average Raccoon...

 ...is more affable, intelligent, and tidy that the average meathead who wants them eliminated, and is usually a lot better looking ~ John D. MacDonald, The Long Lavender Look

The Mouse and the Foo Birds (A Fable)

Once upon a time a mouse was scurrying across a field when a  flock of migrating giant foo birds flew over. One let loose and pooped on the little mouse, and he was covered from his ears to his tail in birdshit. He rolled in the grass until he cleaned himself off, and started running again. The next foo bird to fly by swooped down, picked him up, and ate him.

Moral of the story: If the foo shits, wear it.